Ah Shama Lama Bama & a side of Hashbrowns

I just CANT!!! iCANT!!! I don't know how many of you follow me on Twitter, but the other day I was in Panera Bread hogging the free wi-fi, and I vaguely thought I heard someone speaking in tongues. I think I tweeted about it. If you don't know what tongues are, when referring to a language, then Google it.  I'm not guiding you there this time! Well, tonight I met up with some friends at the iHop after hitting this little open mic night in Norfolk, and no sooner than we sat down did I hear it again!  This time I wasn't making it up.  The two young men that we passed on our way to our table, adorned in pointed shoes, bow ties, express button ups, and the official gay lisp, were Hash-i-tash-i'n all over the place!  I fired a dart at my shotgun for the night, who instantly shot me the same, because our table mates had already announced that they went to the same church.  After about a minute or so, they quieted down, and went back to laughing and joking at a moderate indoor level, and we went on to order our food. 

I tried to let it go, but I couldn't help but wonder, what unctioned the Holy Spirit to send them into a gibber jabber frenzy at iHop at 1:00am?  It's the craziest thing, but about five years ago, seven at the most, people never broke out speaking in tongues in common places such as eateries, banks, cafeterias, computer labs, etc.  I  have NEVER understood why/how people could 1. feel so privileged as to break the sound barrier when and wherever they chose with these outbursts of indecipherable language. and  2. STILL NOT REALIZE THAT IT IS NOT AN ACCEPTABLE PRACTICE, NOR DOES IT DRAW OTHERS TO YOUR RELIGION!

I remember those nights in Lynchburg, when someone in a group I had gone out with would randomly break out into a line of Ah Shama Lamas and I'd just cringe.  I remember being in the computer lab freshman and sophomore year and seeing the group of minority students all huddled around each other, "shouting" in the lab because one of them had just barely passed a GNED quiz, or speaking in tongues because a friend bought them a strawberry smoothie from Jazzman's cafe.  I've never found it to be cute, nor attractive.  I honestly believe that these people are the same people who come early to the club to enjoy the buffet.

I personally believe these people, who find the Cross, instead of the Christ, are just as lost as they were before their "transformation."  I do not believe that there has been a Damascus Road experience for them.  I think they've seen too many episodes of Bobby Jones' Gospel, and attended too many Gospel Fest weekends at Kings Dominion.  I've always held firm to the fact that when you are in a real, personal relationship with Jesus Christ, something in you becomes connected to the Father, and you want to become better.  Sure, we are all human, but I suppose there is an inherent desire to get as close to that earthly perfection as possible.  I don't believe that this perfection includes wearing doilies, spirit cloths, sack cloths, kippas, starch white usher uniforms, or GINORMOUS CHURCH HATS!!!  When this perfection mutated into a conformed model of dressing like a member of a contemporary gospel group, growing dreads, wearing nerd glasses, becoming trendy beyond stomaching, and being a snot nosed brat who hides behind Christian speak and a church shout perfected in a full length mirror to match any speed, tempo, or style of shout beat,  I have no idea.  I must have missed it, and God how glad I am that I did.

Do I feel like there is hope for this current generation of "trendy Christians?"  Sure I do! I just feel like the objective of Christianity is being replaced with something out of an Entertainment Weekly headline.  Stop being so "Flashy for Christ!"  I'm sure if you read, you'll notice Jesus was actually poor when he was doing his most important work.  He never toured with any singing group, or tweeted with his friends during service about people in church who didn't wear nice enough clothes or sing on-key.

(Whatever was in this paragraph, something bigger than myself decided it wasn't time to write it.  The entire paragraph is gone.  I'm heart broken.  It was my absolute favorite.  I'm never writing posts directly in the blog site again.  Sad day indeed.)

What I'm trying to say here is... just be honest with yourselves!  There's so much to be fake about these days, and it just works my last nerve that people in the body of Christ feel such a need to participate in pretending perfection.  Who are you faking for?  Other people who have fallen short of the glory?  Oh.  God already knows your heart, so why lie to those around you?  Stop hoarding all of that crap inside your temple and putting "In Jesus Name" on the front door!  

I'm gonna close now, because it's after 4:30 AM, and I could sadly and  honestly go on about this forever. But before I go,  I want to leave you with a verse by one of my favorite preachers, Shawn Corey Carter.    
  

...No matter where you go, you are what you are, player
And you can try to change, but that's just the top layer
Man, you was who you was 'fore you got here
Only God can judge me, so I'm gone
Either love me or leave me alone.

No Disclaimers, Never.
~Niq'



*The explanation you seek cannot be found.  Go with God, and be blessed.